1)Just shut up. You can't win no matter what you say.
2)She is right, whether she is wrong or right. She is still right.
3)Nothing she wears ever makes her look fat.
4)You ask "what's for dinner?" She says that "tomorrow is garbage day." Just nod and act like everything is just fine. If you pretend what she says has anything to do with anything thing you just said you might end up being fine. You have one shot here. Don't blow it.
5)Love, honor, obey and nag. Yes, it was in the vows, you just didn't hear it. Too bad for you, you agreed to it. Next time you should listen better instead of thinking about two hours later when you were going to get laid.
6)None of her girlfriends are hot. And if they are, you didn't notice. But they are not. How could they be? Only she is hot and the rest of the women on the planet don't even rate.
7)You did it. doesn't matter if you actually did it or not. You did it. Just admit it and get the pain over faster.
8)Sex with every girl you ever met before her was never any good compared to her.
9)When she says its nothing..its something. when she says its something, it's really bad. When it is something and she wont say anything, it is very very bad.
10)You are not allowed to look at any hot woman. Scratch that. You are not allowed to look at any woman period. If you have not mastered the art of peripheral vision by the time you marry her, it is over for you.