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Thursday, November 1, 2012

Lexulous Life Lessons: Your Agenda is Not My Agenda

I love playing Lexulous and Wordscraper. I started out with Wordscraper but have tended to play Lexulous more. I find the tactical aspect a little more challenging.
At one time,  I had more than 50 active games of Wordscraper and around 30 active games of Lexulous.  That was way too much and kept me busy all day just to keep up.
When I started to focus more on writing again,  I knew I had to cut back. So I whittled the Wordscraper games down to 5 or 6 and Lexulous down to 10 or 12. Those were very manageable numbers for me, and since I played pretty much the same people day after day it was easy to keep up.
After a while though,  playing the same people over and over again can get boring.  Almost like you are playing the same game,  over and over again, until you get bored with it.
At times like that, I start a few new games. Since it is much easier to find decent players at Lexulous, I usually increase there. This last week, I have gone from 10 active games back to around 25. It is still very manageable and I enjoy it.
Playing new players brings new challenges but it also brings new experiences. Everyone has their own way of playing, and in addition to the variety to keep it interesting, there is also the aspect of learning by observing how certain players play, then adapting that to your style to become an even better player.
Some players though don't want to adapt. They like their style and wish to stay in that box, no matter what. I am okay with that. To each his own. 
Then there are the players who want you to play like them and if you don't they start to get on your ass about it. Last night that happened.
It is not the first time I have experienced it, but this was one time where I was not in the mood to hear it or tolerate it. Basically, this woman was angry at me for stacking on to her words. Most players actually play this way and it is part of the game. However, when she took offense to that, I shot back.  Below is the text of the conversation.

Her: just gonna stack on my words the whole game??

Me:: I play what I have. That is part of the game.

Her: hmmm. easy points, no work, I think!

Me: you think too much. the point of the game is to make the best move and score the most points. that is what I do. I have a large vocabulary. I don't need to prove that.
Her:  would not want to use a large vocabulary. can understand that.

Her: difference between word building and pretense, surely.

Me: I play tactical. to win.  simple as that. whatever the best move is,  I play that. if that means playing off your word, or if it means another spot,  that is what I play. i don't see why you care what the other person plays, as long as they don't use a word gen. we all have different styles.  I play to compete and sometimes chat.

 Her: okay ... just that when you joined my game, the host note chat box requested non-stacking playing style. you could host your own game or join another if you don't like my style. totally agree -- style difference.

Me: I didn't join your game. You joined mine. Maybe you should spend more time paying attention and less time judging others. 

Now, she has every right to play whoever she wants and however she wants. So do I. 
This brings me back to my main point of the blog and something that has happened to me a lot in the last couple of weeks.
Many of my friends have put out status's lately and asked a question, therefore begging an answer. Me, being the opinionated type, has made an attempt at answering them. What I have learned though is that they don't want the answer, and if they do,  certainly not from  someone like me. I cannot realistically answer their question, because I come from a position in  my mind and in my life that will never match theirs.
Their agenda in life is not my agenda in life. Just as my way of playing Lexulous is not their way of playing Lexulous. And it never can be.
I play Lexulous for conversation and a tactical challenge and many others don't. They play for their own reasons.  I don't try to tell them  how to play,  just as they should not tell me how to play. I play for myself, and so should they. It isn't anybody's business how the other person competes,  or why they play at all.  When you try to force that opinion or agenda on them, you will get the response that this woman got from me.
 So the lesson I have learned is that no matter how much you believe in what you are doing, how right you think you are,  that only makes sense when you look at it from the unique perspective that is embedded in your core, in your brain. Others will never see it that way and it is futile to try and convince them otherwise.
We all have different aspirations and agendas in life, and it is a big waste of time to give advice to those who don't share those with you. Even if you are right, you are wrong. 


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