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Friday, January 4, 2013

The Danger Zone

 Well, I got up late. Despite my best efforts to not do that, I did anyway. I didn't take a nap yesterday, and I didn't stay up so late. So I should have been up early and right at it. My workout should have been started and done by now. But it is 1:30 and there is no chance I start it by 2pm, if that. Why?
Because that is just how life goes sometimes. Now, I am in the Danger Zone.

Now, of course I am not going to fight hostile enemies with modernly designed jets in a fight to the death. Nope. My little workout challenge is not on that level. Or is it?
It is.
Because it is my battle. The battle I need to fight. On many levels, this is my major fight. The one I have to win. Losing it would be the equivalent of losing the fight that Tom Cruise wins in Top Gun. Why is that?
Well, it brings up two major things in my life, both of which I need to defeat. Lack of inspiration and indifference.
The reason I never do this sort of thing is because I just don't care enough either way. I lack some inspiration and I have been very indifferent about it for a very long time. That is my Danger Zone. Falling prey to those demons and letting them win again. But since I threw that challenge in my own face, if they win this time I have been defeated. Because I claimed that it did matter this time.
Day 3. Now the ball is rolling. I am into the groove. In the routine. The habit of just doing it. My body has adjusted to the workload. I can increase a bit there. My mindset has been altered. I am into it. I want to stay the course. Finish this out. Will I? 

I think I will. I certainly hear that "No Voice", the one I described yesterday. That is still there every morning when I get up. But I am beating that demon so far. It will always be there. I know that. I just have to overcome it.
There is that rational part of me. The one that can convince myself, in a very persuasive and determined way that it is just circumstance. You got up late and you have shit to do. Just skip the workout today. You have to eat lunch first. You have to write this blog first. You have to prep your notes for the story you are writing. You have to make some phone calls. Just leave the workout. It won't hurt anybody.
 Life is about moments. Moments where you recognize certain things.Will I miss a day here and there? Of course I will. I have already planned on that. I am not foolish enough to think I will do 30 days straight, full workouts. But I cannot miss it because I am indifferent to the task.

I cant say I don't see the results. I am seeing results. The danger is that I can become happy with that, and fall right back into the Danger Zone. The one where lack of inspiration and indifference live.
Being aware that I can fall back into that is the best reason why I likely won't. Likely. Because I am still in danger. 

Highway to the danger zone
I'll take you
Ridin' into the danger zone

You'll never say hello to you
Until you get it on the red line overload
You'll never know what you can do
Until you get it up as high as you can go

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Daily profile about a specific artist,their life, their work and their impact