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Wednesday, June 5, 2013

What if you are a bad lay? That's a lot of pressure.

Do you know what a Cicada is? I certainly did not before the last couple of months.
Well, I sort of knew about a singer one time named Cicada?



Okay, he is actually Jon Secada. Sounds the same anyway.
But this is not about him. Sort of.
A Cicada is a bug, about the size of your thumb, that waits underground for 17 years, exactly 17 years, then comes up to mate, once,  and then goes back underground for another 17 years. 

This is a Cicada. Not exactly the most attractive looking bug. But hey, to a female Cicada who hasn't gotten any in 17 years, he is smoking hot.

Yes, that's right. The Cicada gets "laid" (eggs pun, don't sue me, okay) every 17 years. If they don't manage to pull it off, then they have to wait another 17 years. 
The Jon Secada song is "Just another day without you." A day? How about 17 years? You have been waiting 17 years, and you have one shot to get it done. Or as Larry The Cable Guy says,  



GET ER DONE!




But that is a shitload of pressure, isn't it? Your mate has been waiting 17 years, 17 freaking years to get laid, and it is up to you to produce. What if you are having a bad day? What if you can't get it up that day?
What if you are on your period? Or the kids need to go to the dentist on some emergency?
Then what? You have to wait 17 more years, underground, slugging it out in the hopes that you are going to get some in 17 years. And what about that next encounter.



Him: Hey.

Her: Hey.

Him: You ready to get it on?

Her: You're damn right, I haven't been laid in 34 years.

Him: Oh, what happened last time?

Her: The guy didn't take his Viagra and he couldn't perform. You better bring it. Just sayin.

Him: No worries, I am good to go.

Her: Good, because if you don't, then I am gonna post a status on Facebook telling all the other Cicada chicks out there to avoid you the next time around. But no pressure,  right?

Him:No, No pressure at all.

Again, it's Just Another Day.







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Daily profile about a specific artist,their life, their work and their impact