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Monday, February 14, 2011

Its about pleasing her.

A couple of weeks back I was chatting with a young male friend of mine. We were discussing people and the topic of women came up. He is always interested in my opinion and ideas and I'm not one who is shy to give them out.
So I offered this bit of advice to him. In many ways this was direct advice about sex and lovemaking, but it is transferable to any part of the relationship.
My way has always been simple. I have two guiding principles. First, the woman must be satisfied fully or else I get very little from the experience. Secondly, I always try to pay attention and look at her eyes and face when I do anything. Anything I gather that pleases her, I make sure I keep doing it. I'm not boring in that I do the same thing every time, but I do always pay attention and make sure that I know what works and what does not.
Today is Valentines day. I'm not big on special days, as most who know me know. I like to think that I make a decent effort to celebrate life and love and care each and every day. But I do know this: Women like Valentines day and it means something to them.
We all know that Valentines day, as with many holidays, has become very commercialized. Candy, flowers, cards, its all very standard and simple. But, women do like getting those things. It pleases them.
But being someone who pays attention, I also know that the best gift, whatever that is, is the one that shows her you have been paying attention, that you care enough to do that. Candy, flowers and cards are great, but what is even better is giving her something that really means something to her. In my case, that means getting a certain chocolate bar that my wife likes, and leaving them all over the house to show that I was putting some thought into it. That is what she will remember, the thought, not the gift.
The best gift I ever got was from my wife. When we met, my beloved dog, who I had had since a little puppy and for most of my adult life, was in her last years and clearly had seen much better days. But I still loved that dog more than anything, and my wife knew that. One day we took a good picture of my aging dog on the front lawn. I thought nothing of it at the time, it was the late fall, around October. My birthday is in January.
When it came time for my birthday, my wife presented me with a t shirt she had made up with that picture on it. To this day, I have never worn that shirt. It sits in the closet on a hanger and is in mint condition. But I always get fond memories of my precious dog and the gesture my wife made by doing that for me. It might have only cost $20, and I have gotten presents over the years that were far more expensive than that, but that's the gift I will always remember.
That's the gem that I always hold on to.
The most pleasing things in life are those that have the thought attached. So, find out what pleases her, and give her that.
It about pleasing her, its that simple.

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