Lets call it what it is. A crime.

http://hollywoodlife.com/2013/11/10/celine-dion-dead-facebook-death-hoax/

"Smile, you're on Candid Camera."

Lately, there has been a sharp rise in a phenomena known as the internet death hoax. 
I have been on this planet for almost 49 years. I watched Candid Camera growing up. I am very aware of what a hoax is and how it can be funny if executed properly and using the right subject matter and people.
 

An internet death hoax isn't that. Lets call it what it is. I will make that statement at the end of the blog.
First things first.

http://arts.nationalpost.com/2013/11/30/paul-walker-dead-at-40-publicist-says-fast-furious-star-was-killed-in-an-l-a-car-crash/ 

Paul Walker was reported to have died over the weekend. I admit I didn't know who he was. I have never seen a Fast And Furious movie and I likely never will. Not really my thing. Car chases and MTV styled images to fuel a likely weakly written script are not my thing. But I know they are popular, and he was. When I saw his face he did look familiar.
Certainly, he and his movies appealed to a generation that also gets most of its news via the internet and sites like Facebook and Twitter. Many do that on their phone, which isn't really a phone anymore, and have no way of verifying the information. 
In this way, they don't know what is a hoax and what is not. 
Was it a hoax, like so many others? In this case it wasn't. Paul Walker did die in a fiery car crash on an L.A. roadway. A bit ironic considering how he made his name.
But until a legit news source confirmed it, I wouldn't believe it. It is a sad commentary on our society that you can't trust a news item about someone dying, because people are so far removed from reality that they think it is okay to make that up.
It sounded like a hoax. Fast and Furious star dies in fiery crash while driving too fast. So, your first inclination was to not believe it. But that isn't always the case.

http://www.gossipcop.com/owen-wilson-dead-death-hoax-died-dies-snowboarding/  

Like most people, I get much of my news first from Facebook and what others post. I don't have cable and I don't listen much to the radio. I do read lots of blogs and watch the news at night online, but the first mention of anything usually comes seconds after it breaks on the internet and then Facebook.
But what to believe? How many phony death notices and items have we seen on the internet? Van Morrison. Yup. Owen Wilson. Yup. Many others. Yup.
So, I am very skeptical until I see it from a very reliable source, which is usually backed up with a comment from someone who actually knew the person day to day. 
About 3 weeks ago, a person I play at Lexulous mentioned in our game that Celine Dion died in a car crash. But, Celine Dion did not. This person had read it on the internet and believed it.
What is the real issue here? For me, the issue is that we forget that beside their big media persona these are real people with families. Mothers, Fathers, Brothers, Sisters and all kinds of connections. Any of these people could see a story posted like that and be very sad very quickly. Lets not forget that these people have children--and in Dion's case very young children--who might not understand an internet hoax. And further, Dion's husband almost died from a heart attack years ago. Imagine the pain that would cause her child. Who would want to be responsible for something like that? Only someone who really has no compassion, common sense or class.
Real people are being taken advantage of and being hurt.
And for what?
The amusement of some attention seekers losers who have nothing better to do with their time than trying to gain some hits on the internet.
So, lets call it what it is. It isn't a hoax. It is a lie...and a crime.
Candid Camera was funny. A harmless prank that amused us and almost always those that were being duped. Making up a news story and posting it online that someone has died when you know full well they have not is not a prank. It is a crime. If it isn't, it should be. 
Right now, nobody is smiling at these internet punks and what they do.
Death is never a joke, nor should it be. There are plenty of ways to execute a hoax. Death isn't one of them. 

 
Back in the days before the internet, if you said something inflammatory in the public sphere that you had no real source to back it up with, you got sued. And you lost.

http://www.csmonitor.com/1981/0330/033059.html 

Just ask the National Enquirer and Carol Burnett how that goes.
Today's National Enquirer is a bunch of wannabe journalists who don't have the talent to make it, so they write blogs, set up websites and make up lies. Like they are some kind of insider. In fact, they are just trolls and punks who probably live off my a taxes and yours. 
They are committing crimes and should be charged. All it will take is one punk like this to go to jail and do real hard time to send a message to the rest of the weasels out there. 
And then, the joke will be on them. 

I have a question for you.

Don't you get tired? Tired of posting the same songs, the same memes, the same pics, the same movie clips? The same everything, day after day after day?
Don't you realize that you bore people when you do that?
That they tune you out?
How could you not?
Are you so comfortable with doing that that you can't see how uninteresting that makes you look?
I guess not.
Never mind.

I wrote that last night about one particular person, but really, I could write it about many. Myself included at times. I am not throwing stones here that I am not worthy of being stoned with myself.

That was the blog I wrote last night, in frustration with what I see. It's my problem. It really is. People do what is comfortable. I get that. It isn't me. I hate being that way and I do everything I can not to be. But I know I do it as well. Even the most creative and successful people do it.

 Like Aaron Sorkin.

This weekend, I had slotted in that I was going to watch The Newsroom. I have seen clips of it, but I wanted to watch it marathon style and as I write this blog, I am halfway through the first season.
The Newsroom is the brainchild of Aaron Sorkin. The same Aaron Sorkin who is responsible for The West Wing, and also for other great shows like Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip and Sports Night. As well, he is also the man behind great films like A Few Good Men, The American President, Moneyball and The Social Network.
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip didn't make it past one season. I really enjoyed it, but it somehow failed. The Newsroom has seemed to pick up where Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip left off. An inside look at a very familiar setting that most of us will never get a true look inside of. 
Just, in this case, it is about a newsroom instead of a nighttime Saturday Night Live kind of show. The concept is exactly the same and he has used the same types of characters.
In the pilot episodes of both, Sorkin actually employed the same plot device with differing results.
Here is the one from Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.

Now, the one from The Newsroom.

In each case, it is a guy who was the top of the heap, who now views himself as a sellout and can't stop himself from telling it like it is, even though he knows it will likely be the death of his career. In Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip it is, and that is okay because he is done anyway. He wants out. In The Newsroom, he wants to change how things are done, but he doesn't want out.
They both reach the point where they start to BS and do what they have been told to do, but their conscience gets the better of them and they just let their true thoughts out. 
We all want to do that many times in a day, but we don't. Even though we don't do it because we don't have the guts to do it, Sorkin knows we love to watch someone else do it. Live vicariously through them. It is a great way to start any show. It grabs the audience attention and makes for a great clip to get people to watch the pilot. Sorkin is no dummy. He knows that. He relies on it. That is why he is very successful. He knows what works. He knows to go for hot button issues and create conflicts that make it easy for him to hit the homerun on most episodes. That is his thing.
In any event, Sorkin, as talented as he is, is like all the rest of us. He goes back to what he knows and what he thinks he does well. It is easier and more comfortable. Most of us will choose this path when given a potential fork in the road.  

So, I started this blog with a question for you. But really, it is a question for myself. Why does it bother me? It shouldn't. People are people and they do whatever it is they do that feels good to them and comfortable. 
In both pilots, Sorkin was making the exact same point. TV has been controlled by the fringe right who just wants to use it to sell stuff and will not say anything offensive to those people if there is a hint of a chance they will be offended enough to complain and not buy the sponsors products. So, the shows are censored and crafted, not for art or information sake, but to please those who will buy products. 
In short, it has become all about the money. 
But isn't Sorkin doing the very thing he mocked in his shows? Pandering and giving the viewers exactly what they want because he doesn't want to go out on a limb and do something new or different? 
Of course he is. Because when it comes right down to it, that is what we all do. No matter what we say or how high a moral standard we claim to have, when we set out to create it is always in the back of our minds that we have to do A,B and C so that we can get and keep an audience.
I guess the answer to my question is that it doesn't bother me as much anymore because I realize we are human and we are always going to gravitate towards this type of thing. It's too bad, but being human means we will always try to please others at the expense of doing what we really would like to do. In some cases, we don't even realize that we are doing it.
I don't know if Sorkin realizes it and doesn't care, or doesn't realize it and wouldn't change even if he did. It doesn't matter.

It's what he does. It is the stamp he puts on his work. The big speech. The poignant moment that ties together an episode that otherwise might be a bit weak without that 3 minute speech. Why would he change that? He wouldn't. It works. We do what is comfortable and what works. 
It is a rare person that goes against the grain. Even me. I fall back on what works for me. I am driven to do new things and not keep leaning on the two or three things I always do exceptionally well. But even so, I still know I have that blanky in my room and I can clutch onto it when I need to.
We all do.
Sorkin made his name on his first great speech in a movie, and of course it is relevant to this blog. Which is where I will conclude.
Sometimes, the truth is not something you want to find out because you can't handle it. The thing you complain about is the thing you are yourself and it only bugs you because you do it as well and have no right to slag others for it.

You want to get hits?

You are a man and you want to get hits on your FB page.

1) Post something really romantic and pretend you are the knight in shining armor.
2) Post something about how you saw someone harm a woman, animal, child and how you saved the day.
3) Post funny or cute cat or dog pics or videos.
4) Post a pic of your kids or even better, your grand kids
5)Tell women you are single and looking for that special someone to spend the rest of your life with because your life isn't fulfilling enough without that.

You are a woman and you want to get hits on your FB page.

1)Post shots of your cleavage
2)Post more shots of your cleavage
3)Tell horndogs that you like their comments about your cleavage. 
4)Post more shots of your cleavage with a t shirt that has a very suggestive blurb on it.
5)Change your relationship status from "in a relationship" to "single".

What if she was wrong?

On the weekend I was reading an article about a woman who took a picture of a man on the subway who was bragging about cheating on his wife and then posted it on Facebook. This brings up several issues, and of course there is a big difference of opinion on her actions. For the record, I am totally against what she did. More though, the way she did it. If she felt the need to tell his wife (if that was her true motive) then she could have done that in private. But again, I don't think it was her business to do that either.

http://www.salon.com/2013/06/08/woman_who_photographed_alleged_cheater_i_just_thought_he_was_such_a_pig/

 Woman who photographed alleged cheater: “I just thought he was such a pig”

Above, that is the headline as it read on Salon. Gets your attention for sure.

Of course what he did was stupid and he is a pig, at the very least. If you are going to cheat, you certainly don't go bragging it all over a public subway train. That is just stupid. And arrogant. And inappropriate. And inconsiderate. And stupid. Did I say stupid twice? I did. Because it is insanely fucking stupid.
So, even though I may or may not condone what this woman did, I certainly have no doubt in my mind that I have no sympathy for this guy. Because he is just an idiot.

"Cause OJ broke the rules. Not the law. Everybody breaks the law. OJ broke the rules. Society, we make up rules. And when people break them we get pissed. You know, simple stuff like if you get away with something, shut your fricken mouth.You don't see Woody Allen hanging out at Chinese daycare."

-Steve White

Yes, you can get pissed. That is always your right. And most people would be pissed. But isn't it selfish to post something in the open forum when it really isn't any of your business? Of course it is. And secondly, what if this guy was actually the husband of one of her friends, does she then have the right or obligation to at least tell her friend in private what she knows and what he was bragging about? I would say that is more a personal question. Every person would react and act differently in that case. But at least that is something still kept private, and allows them to sort it out however they so choose without public scrutiny. That opportunity is now gone. In addition to dealing with a cheating, loud mouth husband, this woman now has to deal with everybody knowing about it when it really isn't anybodies business but hers.I would say his as well, but shooting off his mouth on a crowded subway means he gave up that right. But his wife didn't.
So, while I have no sympathy for him, I do have some sympathy for his wife. She didn't need her private business blasted all over Facebook because some woman got pissed and felt she needed to deal out some vigilante justice.

 Later, she added, “A friend of mine said, ‘Have you thought about this might hurt his wife’s feelings?’” But Stephanie said if she were his wife, she’d want to know: “I would be thinking if I were in her shoes, knowledge is power.”

But she isn't in her shoes. Because they aren't her shoes to be in. She has taken it upon herself to place herself in that situation when she isn't in that situation. All of that would be bad enough on its own. But there are other questions. Most of them most likely don't apply, but you never know.

What if he was doing some sort of performance art?

Or reading a scene from a script?

It's very unlikely. but it is possible.

Does she have the right, legally and morally to post such a thing?

That is a tricky question. And one I don't have the answer to. Because there certainly doesn't seem to be any rules out there for this. But common sense tells you that you don't post it on Facebook, or Twitter, or any other place. Because first off, what if you are wrong on the details. Do you get sued like a reporter and newspaper would? I would sue her for sure. Most would. Once it is on the record over the social media internet waves, you can't undo it. So, you better be 100% right. 


Stephanie’s unaccustomed to Internet fame. “I keep things kind of private,” she said. “I don’t have 2,000 friends.” But her experience over the last few days has shown her how fast and how far a single Facebook post can travel. “I’m just so shocked by the power of social media,” she said. “That’s what I take from this.”

Secondly, what if he didn't actually do the things he said, but was just bragging for some reason to impress his buddy? That would make him a huge idiot, but he wouldn't be the first guy I know of who has done that sort of thing. Again, she could tell his wife and then he could deal with it in private. Now, that won't happen. It's too late. 

Obviously this is a woman who doesn't understand the power and reach of the technology she is using. I would be unlikely to trust her level of accurately repeating what she heard if she doesn't even understand the medium she is placing it in. 
And flat out, what if she was wrong? Just plain wrong? I don't think she even considered that while she was so pissed off. That's too bad, because the rest of us are considering that. Considering that we see all sorts of Facebook posts by people caught up in the moment who end up deleting them later and who think we didn't see them. We did and no matter whether they got deleted or not, everyone saw them. You can't unring that bell. 
I know one thing for sure. If she was my Facebook friend, I would delete her on the spot. And if she was just my real life friend, I would distance myself from her. She doesn't understand boundaries. Neither does the husband, but his bad behavior doesn't justify her bad behavior. At the end of all this, the only one who will really suffer is the wife, who did nothing wrong as far as I can tell. 
And that's just wrong. No ifs, ands or buts about it. 
 

De-Facebooking Myself

If you are reading this, and you follow me or interact with me on Facebook, you might be wondering where I went. And why I went.
Most of you know I am pretty active on Facebook. I am not the most active person, but I am up there with the best of them. You might wonder why that is, and lately it is a question I have been asking myself as well. As I attempted to answer that question I wasn't sure what kind of answers I would find in my mind. That is unusual for me. Usually, when I ask myself those types of questions I know the answers ahead of time. This time I certainly did not, although I had some ideas.
Here are some of the answers I have been batting around in my head.
I got involved with Facebook for one reason at the very beginning. I wanted to reconnect with old school mates from high school and I wanted to find a more convenient way to stay in touch with some of my current friends and relatives. One night I went out with my cousin and some of his friends from high school. Some of those people I knew casually for a long time. Others I had never met. One thing was constant: They were all on Facebook and raved at how great a tool it was. So, I decided to give it a try. 
At first, I had no clue how to do anything other than friend my circle of 15 or 20 friends. I did that right away. After that, I started to connect with old high school friends. Some of those faded fast, as we both realized there was a very good reason we never spoke again after high school. Basically, we had nothing in common other than the fact our parents had moved into the same neighborhood in the 1970's and fate had forced us into the same high school. After that time period had passed, they went on to do what they do and so did I. There was no reason to connect. We were not connected in the first place. To say we were ever friends is inaccurate. We were acquaintances who interacted for a time. Much like I found about Facebook at some point.
Then I started to make a few friends with people on my "real" friends friend-list. Of all those, not one remains today on my list. Then, Facebook started suggesting friends for me to make. These were people I really had no connection to. But, I didn't really understand the Facebook dynamic and I sent out a friend request to any of those that I was allowed to and a certain amount of people accepted. Of those, a few remain and I am very glad I connected with them and became friends. As time went on, most of those also faded away. But even from those, I met others and many of those have remained. That seems to be the nature of Facebook and in some ways real life.
Then there were those I encountered by accident and happened to friend. Of those, many have remained and I also got quite a few friends from them that remain.
I have to ask myself this question: Why have some endured while others have faded off? I suppose this is the same question I could ask myself about the ones from high school. My answer to that is that we have common interests and likes. I am a pretty diverse person as a rule, so that common interest can take many forms. For the most part, this is what has kept me on Facebook and active as long as I have.
What I found as I went along was that the easiest way to enhance the enjoyment experience was to form or join groups. I did a lot of that for a while, but like anything, it got repetitive and boring after a while. In spite of that, I decided to keep hanging around and try to make it better. I tried and I tried, but pretty much it just never did. It got stale fast and didn't get fresh.
Facebook, at first,  was like really great chocolate to me. Chocolate I found in the back of the drawer that I had forgotten about. It was that good at first. Once you get really into it, you just can't get enough. That is how it felt 4 years ago when I signed up. 
First and foremost, what has kept me most interested was the chance to express myself and find people who seemed to want to genuinely wanted to listen to what I have to say. 
I remember the isolation I felt when I first started writing. Being alone all day, just writing. Sometimes you just need the stimulation to keep you going. Or to just break up your day. Facebook seemed to provide that. In some ways it still does, but certainly not like it did before. And I certainly figured out that I spent way more time with it than I should have based on what I was getting back. It had the feel or watching TV reruns. It was familiar and comfortable, but there was nothing new. It was more killing time than investing and enjoying time.
So, in many ways, it was something that came along at the right time. But then it became something else. I used it for avoidance and distraction to get out of doing my work. When that wasn't bad enough, I played enough word games to waste even more time. It got to the point where my world was revolving around Facebook. And that is not a good thing.
I like Facebook. It has some very good features and I certainly have met some great people on it. For those reasons, I certainly will go back to it when I find a happy balance. But that balance was way out of whack, and it seemed the only way to bring it back towards some semblance of harmony was to go off it cold turkey.
It was time to do other things and then come back to Facebook later and let it find its place. It's rightful place. The place I probably should have started out at in the beginning. But I didn't know anything about what I was doing then. I do now. And, I myself have changed. I have to take that into account.
In a way, I am De-Facebooking myself. Once that is complete, I will come back and hopefully it will be used in the proper perspective.  
I have begun to do many of the things I used to do and got away from for a few years.
Watching the news. Reading articles about what is going on, from different perspectives. Watching movies and TV shows. Writing about varied subjects. 
If I have learned anything over the past few years it is this: Facebook is the type of thing that you can really get caught up in and you only have yourself to blame when you do that. If you use it properly and within proper perspective it is a great tool. However, I find many do not. I might have been one of those. But even if I was, I certainly won't be anymore.

OMG! I commented on your post. Yes, I have regrets

OMG! I commented on your post and now I can't unfollow it. What have I done?
I thought your post was interesting. I felt compelled to join in. Of course, I knew I was setting myself up for the onslaught of comments from your "friends" that I have no interest in. I thought I could just unfollow it, but that didn't work this time. Oh, the horror. Yes,  I have regrets.
Let us recap, shall we?


Friend #1 chimed in with "LOL". I thought that was very insightful.  I was hopeful that they would have more to say, but alas, that was it. Friends #9, 14, 23, 24, 28, 35, 42 and 44 also went the LOL route. There may have been more. I stopped clicking by then. It truly was a riveting thread. In hindsight I should have hung in there. Yes,  I have regrets. There is always next time.
 
Friend #2 retorted, "Totally, dude." I was hoping that was all there was, but he had more. Those types always have more. He went on to comment again, "You fucking totally crack me up." As if that wasn't bad enough, he liked my comment and wanted to friend me. Yup, that is awkward. Totally awkward. Could end up being a "situation". Yes, I have regrets. Lots of them.

Friend #3 was at least creative. "That was awesome. I loved it. LMFAO." I am certainly glad I didn't miss that clever comment. Yes, I have regrets. Regrets don't even begin to scratch the surface. Just Sayin. (Editors note: Friend #17 also used Just Sayin. I don't have any intention of copying his fine literary work here. Any chance of that is purely coincidental. If you feel the need to re-post this blog and Friend #2 asks what coincidental means, tell him to "Google it dude".)

Friend #4 got right to the point. He thought you were "smokin hot". Guess he wasn't really interested in what you had to say. I am sure you got something very interesting from him in your private inbox. Yes, you have regrets.
 
And finally, Friend #5 got right to the point. "Word". 
Remind me again why a portion of my taxes goes to educate people? I am more and more beginning to believe the "monkeys in a room will eventually write Hamlet" theory. After they get done writing a gazillion non interesting comments on Facebook. First things first. You have to have priorities. Regrets, yes, many. Nuff said. (Editors Note: Friend #13 also used Nuff Said. It appears I am just as pathetic as the rest. Please see "Yes, I have regrets" for further reference.)

 
Yeah, I am never commenting on that type of status again...until the next time. I likely will break my hand to avoid this situation in the future. I am not sure if I will regret that or not.

How intrusive is Facebook? You really don't want to know that.

Did a search for homes on the net 2 years ago because I thought I might like to buy something in the Fort Myers area?
Recently, a friend asked me in private message what area I might want to live in.
The next day,  I got suggested listing on Facebook for the exact areas I searched for.
Keep this in mind: Whatever you say in private message,  Facebook Admins have full access to that and you have zero privacy. Anything you say, in chat or private message, anywhere on Facebook is something they gain access to and store for as long as they want.
You have NO PRIVACY whatsoever when you use Facebook. NONE, ZERO.

http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/02/28/facebook-buys-service-to-show-targeted-ads-across-the-web/ 

The acquisition allows Facebook to use the vast amounts of personal information it has about its billion users to send them targeted messages as they browse the Web. It potentially allows Facebook to increase advertising revenue, its chief source of income, and not just when its users log into Facebook.

Flip Flopping My Life

My daily routine consists of opening my facebook and gmail first thing and getting updated with what went on while I was away sleeping. Inevitably that leads to not doing the things I need to do work wise. I have decided that facebook is a luxury and the emails can wait. They are the reward for doing my work, not a way to avoid that work by goofing off.
So, now I don't go there first. I go there last, after I have achieved my set goals for the day. If Mark David is not a good boy, then he doesn't get his candy at the grocery store. That is just the way it has to be with a slacker like me.
Now don't get me wrong. Facebook is great and I love my friends on it. But like anything that you enjoy, when it interferes with the things you need to do with your life then it becomes something you need to deal with. I fully admit that I spend more time on Facebook than I need to or should. Not to the point that it has destroyed my life, but to the point that it greatly interferes with it. 
It just seems to be one part avoidance of work and another part interest in certain things that stimulate my mind. Once again, it all boils down to finding that happy balance. But if blogs, stories and scripts are not being completed in the reasonable amount of time they should be then that happy balance is tilted too much to the wrong side. All work and no play is one saying, but too much play and very little work could easily be another for me.
I see this change in my philosophy as not a change of life, but a change of direction. I still want to take the Facebook exit off the highway, I just have to make sure that I get where I need to go otherwise first. 
I wrote this a month ago but then didn't finish the blog and post it as I am today. I have made strides to be more in line with the tone of this, but so far not enough. My goal for March is to take it to the next level. That has been somewhat easier as it seems Facebook has become more boring by the day. I am now aiming for quality over quantity. That pursuit continues as time goes forward. 
It's a process.  


I got pulled into a burning ring of fire, and it burns, burns, burns, that ring of fire.

I'm going away to Story World

I have come to the point where I can really make something of my writing. Can.
But I have not as of yet done that. I have to ask myself why that is? When I go through all the factors, reasons and possible solutions, I come to only one conclusion.
I just need to get away from it all. What is "it"?
It is the total immersion that media has become in our lives. When you add the internet to the rest of the media distractions we all grew up with, it is extremely tough to just stay in your story world and do what is necessary to make that what you want it to become. I certainly fall into that category of those who become trapped into the lure that is TV, The Internet, Social Media and the total mind luring attention all that brings. Social media certainly being the worst (best, most alluring) of that. 
In the real world most cannot avoid it. Most have a day job and have to go to work. That means listening to the radio in the car. Even if you don't do that, there are billboards designed to focus your attention on whatever they are selling or trying to distract you in some way from your thoughts. Most still have cable and watch any number of TV shows. Or, they have e-mail and they correspond with many that way. As well, almost everyone has a cell phone they take everywhere, which keeps them "connected" 24/7. For a story writer, it is just very tough to stay in the right frame of mind and lost in your story. 
I am lucky enough that I don't have to work a day job. We don't have cable anymore. I don't carry a cell phone around everywhere, and when I do carry one it is off. When it is on it is not connected to any media or moving internet. That just leaves the internet and social media when I am at home to take my mind away from where it should be: Completely on my story. I have to live it. Be it. Live in it. It has to be my life. My existence. Much like those that have a cottage or cabin and go away and write for a week or month at a time. I don't have that option or I would take it. I have to find another way to gain that "zone" that good writers get in that is reflected in their story.
So, I have decided I am going to live in my story world. No internet or any form of media for at least a week at a time. I will live in that world 24/7.
That means I will obviously not be anywhere near Facebook. I will not look at or answer my e-mail. I wont watch any TV, read any news of any kind. 
I have the luxury to do all of this and I am going to take advantage of it.     
No blogs. No short stories. No game playing. Instead of multitasking, I am going to single task. Instead of engaging in multiple stimulus that will help me create the story world I want, I will not engage in any stimulus. I have already done that part. I have enough stimulus. I am in fact overstimulated to the point of paralyzation.
I will just take all the materials I have gathered for that particular story and work with that. Much like The Professor on Gilligans Island. I have only what I came with and will be available to me and I must take those and find my way off the not finished story island. My island will be my isolation from the media world that takes me away from what I want and need to do to become what I want to be. 
My tools will be my skills and my creative brain. I have all the research I have done and it is more than enough to work with. Maybe I will have to go back and edit my story when I become connected again, but that will be after I have immersed myself in that story, like I was there, lived it and became it.
Because almost all my material was linked to something connected to the internet, I have taken some time to remove them from that and transfer them to a program that doesn't need any internet connection. It won't even be plugged in to my computer, so even if I had the temptation I wont have the means to succumb. 
For now it will be a about a week. In the future, it might be longer. I see it as the only way for me to get where I want to be.  
That all starts at midnight tonight. I am officially off the grid. Not reachable and really not of this world. I will live in my story world. At least try to anyway.  
I hope by the end of the week to have completed my first piece of work and then move on to the next one and do it exactly the same way. That might be two weeks the next time. Whatever it takes. I am surrendering myself to story world. If that doesn't work, either I am not good enough or don't want it bad enough. I will find that out if I fail.  
The last time I did this for a few days back in the 90s there was no internet. But I also didn't have a job, and I recall that the Oklahoma City bombing happened and Howard Cosell died. One I found out about right away when I reconnected, the other I didn't realize until months later. Either way life goes on no matter what happens in the world. I think many of us have a hard time remembering that, but it does. Other than food to eat, a place to sleep and the other essentials of life, the rest is just entertainment and distraction that can be lived without. This is despite what the media machine has convinced us of otherwise. 
For me, I have convinced myself that I can't live with it. I have to live without it to be what I want to be. It might not be for everyone, but it is the right thing to do for me. 

Investing time like you invest money

Most of us who invest our money do so with the expectation of  some sort of return. If we know that investment is not likely to garner a decent payoff then we would not take that financial risk. There has to be some expectation of a reasonable return. It is a simple concept that almost everyone gets, even those without any financial knowledge. It is the very nature of an investment.

But do we view our investment of time in the same way? I don't think so. That becomes a lot more obvious when we consider the time we put into friendships, especially the friendships we make these days in social media.
Back in the days when we were young--in middle and high school-- that was the experience most of us had. Many of the people we met back in those days, students, teachers, and even some friends never amounted to more than a few years of casual friendships that didn't endure the test of time. But some did. Most of us have a few friends from our high school days who became lifelong friends. Five of my longest and closest friends came from those I met in grade 9, 10 and 11. But there were hundreds of others--maybe even thousands-- that faded off and I completely lost touch with.
Now, most of those were not ever really friends and I didn't put much time and effort into them at all. But there were more than a few that I did. Why did those not endure? 
In the past, I have put a lot of time into some Facebook friends. As time has gone on, they have faded away. That happens. There are no guarantees in life. I understand that. But when it happens often enough, you have to sit back and analyze what is going on. In this way, I am trying to figure out why my time investment in these people seemed to be an unwise and a "poor" investment. And also, if it was a bad investment or not. Was it even unwise? Possibly, but I have come to take a different outlook on that. Possibly it wasn't the investment persay, but how much I invested vs. how much I got back. Possibly I put in too much when I didn't need to and shouldn't have.
My topic for my blog today: What do you get from the time you put into friendships/encounters and has it been worth it? Many secondary questions arise from that first question and I will tackle a few of those along the way.
Even if many of those that I had close personal relationships have faded completely away, I still think they were worth it. Why do I think that? Well, I did get something from them, even if the friendship did not last. I learned things by interacting and there is some value in that. I had some good times with them,  some laughs. But on the whole, it wasn't the best use of my waste of time. I didn't get nearly back the investment I put in. Why is that?
To figure that out, I went back in my mind to those from my past, in real life, who came and went but were memorable and fairly significant.
In high school I met a guy named Chris in Grade 9 close to the first day of high school. I had just moved from Montreal and he from Winnipeg and neither of us knew anybody. We both loved hockey, most sports and board games and we spent a lot of time doing all of those things. We even went to Pro Hockey games and watched football on Thanksgiving together. He knew my parents well and I knew his. This lasted for one year. The next year he moved away. That happens. His father was in the Army, so he got re-posted all over the place on very short notice. I lost touch with him until last year when he found me on Facebook. Thus the power of Facebook. Finding old friends. It is probably the reason most of us started on Facebook. It was mine. But the reality of life is that people move away for various reasons. You can't start to second guess your decision to spend time with someone based on it. It lasts as long as it lasts and if life gets in the way then it does. If the connection is very strong, you will find a way to stay connected. Some friendships are meant to be brief for whatever reason and possibly if Chris had not moved away we would have drifted apart anyway,  as happened with my next friend.
Although I also knew John in Grade 9 I did not know him as well as Chris. That changed in Grade 10. We had a lot in common, many of the same things I had with Chris. John was tall and played on the high school basketball team. I did as well, but not until Grade 13.  I was more interested in baseball, golf and tennis in those days. John and I played a lot of tennis together and we played pickup basketball a lot. We spent whole summers just doing those two things together. I came to also be the assistant coach on the high school basketball team, because I was good at coaching and the coach of the team recognized that. When the team traveled to games John and I would go to together or sit on the bus together. We also had lots of common friends and we played poker and board games together. I liked John's parents, who were very nice people. And we always got along well, until Grade 12, when he changed and we seemed to drift apart. John was one of those moody guys and always feeling sorry for himself. These days I realize he had very low self esteem. We just drifted apart and I have not seen him since high school ended. As close as we were, we grew away from each other. That is just how life goes. People change and when that happens the basis for the friendship changes and contact is not important anymore,  until there is none at all. People come into your life when you probably need them to and are ready to interact with them and then leave once that is not practical or enjoyable anymore. In retrospect, John and I are just very different people who realized that as we grew up and grew apart.
 Karen was someone I spent a lot of time with in University. We were in the same program and had all the same classes together. We did have some small attraction, but she always had a steady boyfriend and it was a non starter so we were just buddies. Great buddies. But when University ended that was the end of it. I learned a lot about girls from Karen, so my time was well spent and invested. When you have a true buddy who is a girl, they tell you things that most girls will not tell guys. They give you perspective.
I learned one very important thing from Karen that I never had even thought of before. She told me girls were always looking at me and checking me out and I never was noticing it. Because she wasn't interested in me she felt comfortable sharing that and I believed her because she had no ulterior motive. Eventually, University ended and we didn't stay in touch. Our common bond was seeing each other everyday in class. Once that part of our lives ended so did the contact. Many times in life, you fall into situations and become friends as long as you are involved in those things, but lose touch when that motivating factor is taken away. Again, that is another part of life. I consider my time with Karen valuable and enjoyable, and I certainly would take her out to lunch if the situation presented itself, but I wouldn't go out of my way to do that. 
Everything you do in life can give you perspective if you are willing to see it. Does that mean they were wise investments with my time? Not necessarily. Just because you gain perspective, knowledge and have some good times doesn't justify it. You can still learn some things but maybe your time might have been better spent with others.
The previous 3 relationships all did that, even though they were somewhat brief and ended abruptly. I consider them all time well  invested although they didn't last,  they helped me in some way grow for the future ones and learn what to avoid that might not be the best situation for myself,  from a time perspective. I have used those skills gradually as I have gone along.
I knew Nadine from a first blind date that went nowhere. We clearly were only going to be buddies, but great buddies we were. We did so many things together. We even talked quite a bit about our dates and boyfriends/girlfriends. We went out to bars, concerts,clubs and were even going to go on a trip to Cuba together, which didn't happen because she lost her job and couldn't afford it. I slept on her couch a few late nights and she cared for my dog when I was too busy to do that. That went on for a few years until I got married. We just drifted apart due to time reasons. She moved away and eventually got married and we lost touch for about 15 years. But we found each other and met up for lunch. It was like we were never apart, because we always had that kinship that some friends have. I have that with my friends from Grade 9, 10 and 11 that I still see to this day,  but maybe not for a couple of years at a time.
Which brings me to my facebook experience, which initially was the impetus for writing this blog.
I have made a lot of "friends" on facebook. Currently I have about 550 and I have probably gone through at least that many who aren't around anymore, both by my choice and theirs. Many I barely knew but a few I did,  very well. Some of those still remain on my list and although we aren't that close, we still keep in touch from time to time. Just as with Chris, some moved on.  Others, like John just were different than I thought and we drifted apart because we had very little common ground. Others like Karen had like interests as I do but then one or both of us sort of fell out of that groove and there was nothing underlying left.
But when I go over the majority, I realize that although they meant well and didn't do this deliberately, they needed a lot more from me than I did from them and I was willing to give that. That happened because that is just my nature. And while it is my nature,  it is not productive for me from an investment of time perspective. Once they get they need they really don't need much more from me and I get little in the long run at the end of it all.
So, because of that, I am more careful to think ahead and make a judgement call as to whether the person I am spending a lot of time on is worth that time for me, from an investment perspective. Of course, you can never know for sure, and many have worked out to be very good investments. It is just a matter of learning from that and making better choices going forward. Still, there are no guarantees there. But hopefully a higher percentage prove to be worth the time I put in.
I am now trying to invest my time like I invest my money. Wisely.