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Thursday, October 27, 2011

life lessons and how they smack you into reality

I always seem to meet a lot of people. I have always been very approachable, both in real life and in the internet world of cyber space.

In life you meet many people, thousands. Some will come in and out of your life fairly quickly and will mean very little to you over time. Most in fact will fall into this category. Very few will stay for the long haul and be lifelong friends of yours.

Why is that?

My best guess is that over time you just don't mesh with them enough to sustain the friendship. That doesn't mean they are bad, or you are bad, or there is anything wrong with that. Chemistry is a weird thing and you have to cherish it when all the variables come together.
All you can do is just keep trying and putting yourself out there and make sure you pay attention when the right ones come along.
In spite of all that,no matter whether the interaction is short, say a week or two, or a month, or a year or two, or long, say 10 or 20 years, or a lifetime, you can learn a lot about people and from each and every person you meet.

Every person you meet can teach you a lesson about yourself as well. Why you were interested or attracted to them for various reasons, and what that says about yourself.

Below are some life lessons I learned from various people I have met. They are composites of certain types of people and not any one particular person.

What life lesson did I learn from each of these people?

Nicole. I learned from Nicole that anyone can appear to be wonderful for a day or two. They can keep up the charade that they will be a good friend and real with you. But as time goes on, they revert back to the mean. Everyone does. I have encountered this many times over, but this is just the most recent example of it. Because I have seen this so many times before, I am never surprised any more when it happens. Always disappointed, but never surprised.

Carla . I have met hundreds of Carla's in my time, but every time I still get fooled by them. They appear normal, but in hindsight, when it all blows up and you look back, you realize the signs were always there. These are the people who cannot maintain a friendship. Every relationship they have is destined to blow up because they have been broken at some point and sabotage any real friendship with deviant behaviors and deception. Carla was the latest of those for me. We connected on many levels but once she got what she needed from me she moved on. I should have seen that coming all along, but I chose not to.

Karen...some people want to fail and be miserable their whole life. You can't help these people. No matter what you do, or what they say, or how much they say they want to change, they don't and they wont. They are just losers and are only really happy when things go wrong. When they have everything at their disposal to make it go right, and things are going well, they will find a way, most often go out of their way to make it fall apart. That is the reality of life. Don't let them suck the life out of you. Because they will.

Uncle Steven . There is no one on this earth that will not screw you over if it is in their best interests to do so. That includes family. Most wont do it, but anyone has it in them to do it. I learned this when I was 24 and my Uncle screwed me over and broke a promise he made to me. Because of that promise I made sacrifices and life choices that had major implications on my future. When the time came to put up or shut up, he didn't put up and screwed me. matter how much you love someone, no matter how much you hope they will love you back, in some cases, they just wont. It isn't their fault..or anyone's fault, it is just how love goes. The reason why someone falls in love with someone..or doesn't..can never really be understood. It never will. And it probably shouldn't.

Kimberley..against their better interest..even smart people will do things they know are no good for them and will harm them in the short term and possibly long term. It is like touching the hot stove. Sometimes you just have to do it, knowing you will get burned will not stop you.

Gail -first impressions are usually wrong. What you see at first is not likely the real thing, and forming an impression over the long term based on that early information is likely to leave you disillusioned and disappointed.

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