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Sunday, November 20, 2011

10 Reality shows I won't watch

When I was growing up, they had something called Battle of The Network Stars. It was just an awful show and no one I know ever watched them. They are acknowledged as some of the worst shows ever produced. Pure advertising for the current lineup of tv shows is what it was. At least most saw it for what it was. Otherwise, it was just more T and A for the masses who didn't get enough of that on Charlies Angels, Dukes Of Hazard, Threes Company and The Loveboat, among many others.
There was nothing real about those shows, but at least they were what they were. And it wasn't every week. They would do 2 or 3 maximum each year.


This show pretty much mocks itself. In the above clip where Lynda Carter jiggles as she runs, then Howard Cosell makes light of the actual competition.


It was so easy to mock that SCTV did just that.

The problem with today's "reality" shows is that they really take themselves seriously, when they should be mocked for the stupidity they purport as entertainment.

That being the case:

Ten reality shows I won't ever watch

1)Survivor

What is real about putting 20 or so strangers on an exotic island, giving them stupid tasks to do and then pitting them against each other until only one is left?
Oh, and after they get eliminated, which means of course they still survive, they get to be celebrities and make money off of that. Nothing is real about that. Lets see the other 19 die on the island because they couldn't survive. Or worse, send them home and make them watch reruns of this show until they can't take it anymore. Now THAT would be real.



2)Dancing With the Stars

First off. They aren't stars. Real stars don't do that show. Former sports stars are not really stars anymore, nor do most who watch that show know who they are in the first place. My wife watches this show and had no clue who Jerry Rice and Emmitt Smith are. As for the rest, they were marginal stars at best, and in most cases were not anyone that anybody has heard of. Sure, some were big stars 20 or more years ago. But who cares anymore?
Excuse my ignorance, but who ever heard of Steve Wozniak, other than computer geeks? He is a genius, but he was never a star. On top of that, he is fat and can't dance. Sorry, not a star and not a dancer.




3) So You Think You Can Dance

Maybe you can. Maybe you can't. I don't effing care either way. Go dance in a studio and make your way. I don't want to watch. Most of these are professionals who are recruited for the show.




4)Jon And Kate

Yes, that is exactly what I want to see. Two stressed out parents and their 8 brats whining for a whole hour. Sounds like a lot of good entertainment to me. If I really wanted to see that, I would hang out at the mall on a Saturday afternoon and get my fill. FYI, I don't want that.



5)Cake Boss

Whining women whining that their cake that they asked for is now not what they want. I have 20 relatives and a wife I can get that from. I don't need to watch a tv show for that.


6)The Biggest Loser

I admire those who want to get their life back on track. I don't want to watch fat people exercise. Not that interesting to me. Pass. When they coined the phrase "That's Entertainment" I don't think they had this in mind.




7)The Amazing Race

Never got why anyone would watch this show. Yes, that is what I want, to have my wife watch other couples struggle on their travels so she can get ideas on how to be more troublesome and difficult.





8)Celebrity Apprentice

I loved the original Apprentice and watched it every week. Real people trying to become a real apprentice for Donald Trump. I thought it was great tv and had a very real feel to it. No staging. No bullshit. Real situations and real people making their way in the world. Celebrities have no intention of becoming an Apprentice. It is just another way to get more ratings and I hate this stupid show. It is everything that is wrong with tv. Most of the participants are has beens. See the clip below and refer to Dancing With the stars above.



9)The Bachelor

By far the worst of the worst. The whole concept of this show is idiotic on its face. 25 men or women vie for one person who will be their one and only. All the while, he or she dates them all, all at the same time, and in many cases kisses them..and more. Dumbest show ever conceived. Find me one woman on the planet that will date any guy and kiss him that is dating 24 other super attractive women at the same time. Really, find me one.




10)America's Got Talent

Umm..no..they don't. At best, most are circus acts, and should go back where they belong. Johnny Carson used to put them on at the end of his show for a reason. David Letterman called them stupid human tricks or stupid pet tricks. That is what they are. This is not a show, and what is real about it anyway?


People these days mock shows like The Loveboat and Fantasy Island. Sure they were not Shakespeare, but they were fun and entertaining. I will gladly take that over the fake reality they put on tv these days. I like fantasy, I have enough reality in my real life.




Here are a few I liked and thought they had a very real feel to them.


The Apprentice

I loved The Apprentice, the original one. I described that above. Very real show with real drama. Probably the best reality show of all time.




Dragons Den

My next favorite. People with real ideas looking for real money, which is supplied by the panel who put up their own money in the real world. True drama and real business being done in an entertaining way. I never get tired of watching this show. True human dynamics shown in a very entertaining way.



Intervention

A sometimes disturbing show. But very real, in every way. And not a happy ending all the time. I don't watch it much anymore, but when I did I watched it from start to finish.






House selling shows


Watching real people selling a house is a great entertainment package. Anyone who has done this knows how much stress and conflict this creates between all the participants.


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