1. 90% of what I read from those who are under 25 convinces me that a massive plague is coming to kickstart a correction. Kind of like a market downturn.
2. How repulsive is Courtney Love:
prisoners would refuse conjugal visits from her
3. If I did a bad bad thing it would be so so good.
4. Yes, I recycle my comedy. Just try to think of me as the environmentally responsible comic.
5. I am building my brand. Not sure what my brand is, but I am building it.
6. I find it funny that I put in Chuck E in the search engine for You Tube and I get Chuck E Cheese instead of Chuck E's In Love. (No, You Tube, you don't know me.)
7. Women think too much about what other people might be thinking but probably aren't thinking anyway.
8. They used to call it a "bad cold". Now they call it an "epic cold". Ah, those crazy kids.
9. I am resigned to the fact that if you sit behind me at the movie theater you are obligated by some higher power to kick my seat at least 10 times, even if you have never done that before in your life.