1. I don't get penis enlargement ads in my email. I have taken that to mean that mine is already huge enough.
2. Jokes about Whitney Houstons death are not funny.
3. It's not me..it's you. Really..it is you. I am good.
4. You have to fall before you can get back up.
5. I want to friend a really young guy named Kenneth so I can ask him "What's the frequency Kenneth?" and he will be totally lost.
6. I marinate my ketchup with ketchup. Yup.
7. Whenever I hear or see the Westboro Church people speak, I expect the next words out of their mouths to be:
"You know Jerry......".
8. Don't try to convince the disbelievers. Gather up the believers and make the unit stronger.
9. Why are there no fat cats or dogs or horses in the wild? Because they are slow and they would get eaten. That is all you need to know about why the U.S. and the rest of the Western World are in debt.
10. Keanu Reeves is such a bad actor that I don't even believe him when he is playing himself.