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I have always known. How could I have not known? A father knows when there is something wrong with his child. He tried to hide it. He was good at it too. There wasn't much to find. His mother never suspected. Neither did his two sisters. How could they? They didn't know what the signs looked like. Of course, I did. Because I was just like him. I killed too. He never knew that either. Nobody..well..almost nobody knows what I did.
Of course, I wasn't as prolific as he is going to be. I only killed 4 in my lifetime. They were deserving. Yes, just like the "victims" he will kill, they were deserving. Just the scum of society that needed to be killed. Who deserved what they got. And it didn't burn inside me like it does in him. I killed and then the urge would go away for a long time. It didn't pre occupy me. Haunt me. Guide me. I killed and then let it go. It didn't burn in me like it burns in him.
Can I stop him? I don't know. Probably not. I won't ever find out, because I have no intention of trying. It isn't for me to stop my son from being who he was born to be. We have raised him well, and steered him away from violent behavior. But it is within him, just as it is within me. I stopped, because I don't have that strong urge he does. I just want to make sure his mother never finds out. It would destroy her to find out what we have made..what we have raised. She is so pure. She is my rock, my center. She is most of the reason I am able to keep these urges from overtaking me and killing again.
She will never know what I did, and I hope she never finds out what he is doing and is going to do. I see it. He is determined to kill. Nobody is going to stop him. Anybody that tries is likely to be just another victim. I won't be one of those.
Of course, I wasn't as prolific as he is going to be. I only killed 4 in my lifetime. They were deserving. Yes, just like the "victims" he will kill, they were deserving. Just the scum of society that needed to be killed. Who deserved what they got. And it didn't burn inside me like it does in him. I killed and then the urge would go away for a long time. It didn't pre occupy me. Haunt me. Guide me. I killed and then let it go. It didn't burn in me like it burns in him.
Can I stop him? I don't know. Probably not. I won't ever find out, because I have no intention of trying. It isn't for me to stop my son from being who he was born to be. We have raised him well, and steered him away from violent behavior. But it is within him, just as it is within me. I stopped, because I don't have that strong urge he does. I just want to make sure his mother never finds out. It would destroy her to find out what we have made..what we have raised. She is so pure. She is my rock, my center. She is most of the reason I am able to keep these urges from overtaking me and killing again.
She will never know what I did, and I hope she never finds out what he is doing and is going to do. I see it. He is determined to kill. Nobody is going to stop him. Anybody that tries is likely to be just another victim. I won't be one of those.
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