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Friday, July 20, 2012

Things I would rather do than see Magic Mike in the theater.

I take the attitude "live and let live". Sure, I am opinionated and everybody knows that. I don't mind stating my opinion and I am plenty okay with others doing the same.
I am on the record stating that I view Magic Mike, the new movie about male strippers, as simply eye candy and pure lust entertainment. I am okay with that, as long as it is viewed as such. I have seen many reviews, both panning it and lauding it. Many of those positive reviews, mostly from people I respect as a fair judge of quality movie making, claim that the movie, while mostly eye candy, does have a significant plot and story and that the acting and directing was very good. I am skeptical, but I intend to see for myself.
However, there is no way that I will ever step foot in any movie theater while this movie is playing. I will have to rent it or watch it on the internet.

So, I made a list of a few things I will never do, but I would still rather do before I ever set foot in a theater and watch Magic Mike in the company of 200 or so horned up and sex starved females.

Get waterboarded while they play
Justin Bieber's greatest hits on a loop to infinity

Suck a cock..any cock.

Buy a subscription to GQ magazine

Masturbate to the image of Joan Rivers...either pre or post surgical disfigurement.

Declare the New York Yankees as "my team"

Watch a "Jersey Shore" marathon without the threat of a gun to my head.

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Daily profile about a specific artist,their life, their work and their impact