10 tips for single guys about to get married
1. She has the boobs. Therefore, she always has the ultimate power and tie breaker. Accept that and get used to it.
2. If it is only
"okay" you better tell her it is fantastic, or else she will keep asking
until you say it is. What "it" is doesn't really matter. It can be
anything. Until it is fantastic, it is not okay.
3. If she says you are driving too fast. you are. Just shut up and slow down. It isn't worth it.
Going out with your buddies is not more important than spending every
waking minute with her. If you think you can make this argument and win,
then go out with them, and then don't go back home. You have no idea
what you are in for.
5. You now have to
watch some chick flicks. Sorry, that is just how it is if you wish to
get laid again ever in your life. Furthermore, Keanu Reeves can act and you better get used to saying that. Just do it. Keanu Reeves is a great actor. He is because he is cute. Do not attempt to convince her otherwise.
6. The Bachelor is a good show well worth watching. Say it again. If you say it enough times it will start to sound believable.
In addition, tell her you would only give a rose to her. This can erase a lot of future errors you are going to make anyway.
7. She will forget where she left her glasses,
her keys, her purse. But she won't ever forget that insulting thing you
said 25 years ago. That baby is burned in her brain and ready to be
called back up at any time. If you said it, you now own it. You will pay for it for the rest of your life.
8. When she says "I was thinking" you can be sure that the next words won't be something that is going to work out well for you.
9. You only watch porn so you can learn to give her better pleasure. Make sure you tell her that.
It wont work but at least you made the effort. She will appreciate that for a few minutes anyway.
10. Kicking crumbs under the couch is a very viable option to avoid arguments. But, be crafty. She is bound to look away for a second. That is your chance to make it happen.