1. I would rather watch Justin Beiber sing all of his not so greatest hits than spend one phone call trying to change my insurance by phone.
2. If your profile pic on facebook makes you look like a psycho killer or child molester, you should probably change it. Just sayin.
3. The first step to prosperity is controlling the path.
4. Sorry but I could only put one thumb up. The other hand was busy.
5. Took the words right out of my mouth. Must have been while you were dissing me.
6. Blow up dolls with pull cords in their backs don't count as "in a relationship" status. Just thought I'd let some of you guys know that.
7. I might be a bit busy today. I'm searching for the time in history when crap became "holy"
8. If you stopped trying so hard to make others like you they just will like you.
9. Some people talk a good game but they cant back it up because they start to believe their own lies are true.
10. Who is scarier looking? Joan Rivers or a circus clown? And I apologize profusely in advance to circus clowns for the slanderous and hideous comparison.