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Wednesday, August 1, 2012

And in other news......

The headline read:

Man arrested for performing sex act while driving

How can you resist reading an article like this? You can't. You just have to know what happened. So, I did.


 A 36-year-old Jacksonville man is accused of performing a sex on himself while driving south on Interstate 95 near Ormond Beach.

Ronald Ayers was charged with indecent exposure on Wednesday.

He denied performing the sex act, saying another driver who reported him to authorities misunderstood what he was doing while driving – using drum sticks to hit his steering wheel.

Ayers told deputies that he is a drummer who commutes between Jacksonville to Daytona Beach and he frequently simulates playing the drums while driving by hitting his steering wheel with drum sticks.

A woman from Flagler Beach called authorities at 8 a.m. Wednesday and said a driver later identified as Ayers was performing a sex act on himself while driving a Chevrolet Astro Van.

The woman said she was driving alongside his van and she gave authorities his tag number and followed him until authorities pulled him over in Ormond Beach.

When a Volusia County deputy approached his van, "he spontaneously explained that he was hitting drum sticks against his steering wheel as he drove,'' a report said.

He invited the deputy to search the van. The deputy did and found two sets of wooden drum sticks between the two front seats.

"The drum sticks were a natural wood color and closely resembled Ayers's own skin color,'' a report said.

The deputy re-interviewed the woman and asked if it was possible that she confused Ayers's drumming for a sex act.

She was adamant that she had a clear view of his penis. She stated it was not possible that she mistook the drum sticks for his penis.

She said she wanted to pursue criminal charges and completed a sworn written statement detailing what she said she saw.


 Okay, 3 things.

1) If the guy is jacking off, and driving straight and not bothering anyone, then just don't look and mind your own fucking business. This is no different than porn. If you don't like it, don't watch it. Change the channel. Simple.

2) Why are you practicing drumming with sticks when you are driving on the I95? When you do dumb shit like that, then bad shit happens. Drive the fucking car and put your hands on the steering wheel.

3) Since when is it illegal to jack off while you are driving? I would rather he jacks off with one hand and keeps the other one on the steering wheel than he drums with both and likely causes an accident at some point. Charge him with reckless driving, which is what he has already admitted to.










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