1. I would save the world from the Mayan apocalypse, but I have seen what most of you bring to the table and feel it is best not to interfere.
2. Writers never stop writing. They might stop writing things down, but they are always writing.
3. The power of the orgasm is very strong. Most can't resist when it speaks to them and tells them to do dumb things. Like the bad voice over your shoulder.
4. American Bandstand to The Midnight Special to MTV to .........The X Factor. Is that supposed to be progress? Cause I don't see it. Looks more like regression.
5. You can run away from your problems if you want to. But you will find that they can run just as fast or faster. The only way to deal with them is to stand up and face the music.
6. My wife said enough is enough. It's been 5000 years or more. Can't the Isreali's and Pakistani's just settle there differences.
7. Yes, Jesus loves you. He is your lord and savior. That is great for you. I also have it on good authority that he would love it if you STFU about it. The rest of us hate you. Could you possibly just love him, quieter?
8. When you're Fifteen, somebody tells you they like your song, you're gonna believe it. When you're twenty something, somebody tells you that you suck, you better believe it.
9. Dear Lexulous woman who is looking for some dirty chat. I would love to talk dirty to you, but I came already, so what do I need you for anyway? Umm..your turn.
10. Don't make me get off my lazy ass and virtually spank your lazy ass...cause I so won't do that.