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Tuesday, November 20, 2012

A weight "situation"

It is funny the way we say things. Portray things. It definitely has become a "spin doctor" world.
I don't have a weight "problem". I have a weight "situation". Maybe that is sort of like saying "I'm not fat, I am curvy".
Nevertheless, I am going to make that distinction and tell you why that is a bigger issue, for me anyway.
Since I graduated high school, I have gained about 100 pounds at the peak of how heavy I became. Since getting married 15 years ago, I have gained about 60. At the peak, about a year ago, I was heavy enough that my breathing was labored if I went for a long walk. When I played hockey, I couldn't make a whole shift and I was noticeably slow and sluggish.
Since then, I have taken off about 15 pounds and I am still way too heavy, but I can move well enough and my breathing is fine. Therefore, I don't really have a problem. I am not slim, and svelte, like I was in high school and most of my twenties, but I am not really fat to the eye. I am "average" or "normal" and relative to most of my friends and most of my age group, I am in better shape than them.
Therein lies the issue. I can certainly settle into this weight and not have a problem. I am healthy enough, I eat much better than I used to and can still do all the things I want to (just a bit slower, I'm older now and I have to accept that). So, my situation causes the issue. I'm not fat, but I am not slim or "in shape" either. And that situation leads my persuasive mind to tell my tendency to be a slacker and lazy to just not keep working hard and towards my goal of getting back in the kind of shape I was 20 years ago (which is a realistic goal). I know I will never be a six pack abs kind of guy, and I wasn't that anyway when I was much younger. That isn't my natural build ( I am average sized but bulky, it's genetic, my father was exactly that way) and I will never be "cut", but I can be reasonably slim again and able to move quickly and with the stamina I had when I was much younger. But only, if I start to view my situation as a problem. My real problem is that I don't see my situation as a problem.
The problem isn't the weight,  the problem is my fat head. And that is for sure not a situation that will lead to solving the problem.
 I don't have a weight "situation". I have a mind "problem". Maybe that is sort of like saying "I'm not crazy, I am eccentric".


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