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Friday, November 30, 2012

Every writers worst nightmare

Every writers worst nightmare. Losing what you have written. All that hard work, wiped out in one delete, or virus,  or whatever. You can't even contemplate the blow this is to someone who writes for the various reasons we all do. It is like someone smothered your newborn with a pillow while you will sleeping peacefully in the next room.
I have had it happen before, as we all have. I now take great precautions to protect myself against it. But like driving carefully, or eating well, or making sure you take the safest course of action, it will still happen. Shit happens in life.
Humans make errors. Human error is not something you can protect yourself against. Nor should you. We aren't robots, nor would most of us ever want to be. If there were no setbacks, or personal weaknesses,  then there wouldn't be much point in living. We find joy in comparison to sorrow. The highs wouldn't be as high if the lows didn't exist. It all comes with the territory.
I deleted a very good piece of writing by accident. I didn't even know I'd done it until later when I went back to edit it and realized a large chunk was missing. 
I lost my concentration for mere seconds, but that was all it took.
At first of course I scrambled. Did I have a copy somewhere else? I probably did. I looked. I could not find any. I had a backup copy, but I had deleted that as well, as I always do once I copy it to the master which I send out to the masses in my blog. 
I still had a decent portion left, just not all of it, and certainly not the very good parts which I had just written a few hours earlier. It was fresh enough that I could still remember what I wanted to say, just not to recreate how I said it. That was lost, for good. 
You can always replace the concept. The concept lives within you forever. You can never replace the writing. The writing lives in the moment and dies shortly thereafter. The best you can hope for is to create new great writing. It will never be what it was, but it can be good, and sometimes even better in the new form it takes when it rolls out of your brain.
The reality is that most times it wont be as good. That happens. You just deal with it and move on to the next project. That is all you can do.
Life is all about loss and starting over, regrouping and carrying on. I only lost some writing. No big deal. The world wont come to an end. I have lost family members, friends and just people I know. Much tougher as we all know. Anyway, you deal with it the best way you can, which is different for all of us. I just regroup and move forward. I don't have any time or inclination to feel sorry about it. The world can certainly live without a small piece of my witty words that would soon be forgotten anyway.

Below is the new version of the story, which still conveys the idea and spirit I was going for. It wont have the 3 or 4 great sentences that rolled out of me in that one great instant. They have gone to the writing graveyard in the sky, never to be seen again.

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