1. While you are rolling on the floor. Don't get up. Please.
2. I'm pretty sure even your left hand wouldn't date you.
3. The downside of technology: With all the people talking on their bluetooths walking down the street, you can't tell the crazies apart. It's just not safe to walk the streets anymore..
4. Sometimes don't ya just feel like the should call it Assbook instead of Facebook? Yeah, I knew ya did too.
5. I refuse to answer that question due to the fact they may incarcerate me.
6. How many times in my life have I said this: Needs more ketchup! More than 57. That's for sure.
7. There is a pretty fine line between estranged and just plain strange.
8. Losing is the best way to figure out how to win. You see how others beat you and you take steps to stop them from doing that.
9. Snow is really romantic. Until you have to shovel it. Then it is just heavy.
9.5. I start a lot of things that I don't...
10. Banks now have a twitter page. If your account gets overdrawn, you can now get a tweet.
Ha Ha, your account is overdrawn and you just bounced a cheque