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Saturday, February 23, 2013

Random Thoughts: The "What If" Edition

1. What if Pigs COULD fly? Should birds be nervous? Does that mean the end of bacon because pigs have viable flight risk capability?

2. What if Rome was built in a day? Are we just really slow at getting shit done and in denial?

3. What if her ass ISN'T fat? If you tell her, does that mean she thinks you are lying? What if it becomes fat later, as is likely. Did you miss your chance to just lie before and prepare her for the inevitable?

4. What if politicians got a high voltage electrical shock every time they lied to us about screwing us in the ass to line their pockets? Is that even legal? Since politicians make the laws, is this question just moot anyways?

5. What if I am The Jerk Whisperer? Can I get myself fired or am I bound by contract to keep the position until further notice?

6. What if Grumpy Cat wants to be happy cat but is being held hostage and forced to be Grumpy in the name of selling more T-Shirts? Should we call the authorities?

7. What if Facebook is all a dream and one day we are going to realize we have a shitload of imaginary friends? Is there enough qualified therapists to deal with all the fallout?

8. What if dogs and cats really love each other and have been in collusion all these years just to mess with us? Who is the ring leader, the cat or the dog?

9. What if Mitt Romney did win the election and turned out to be a bleeding heart liberal under cover? Would that mean that Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter would be moved to commit mutual suicide? Is it worth taking that risk next time on a risk/reward, cost benefit basis?

10. What if you were to burst my bubble, only to find an equally awesome bubble inside that bubble. Who would be dealing with the hate then?

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