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Wednesday, August 28, 2013

The advantages (or disadvantages) of being cheap and having virtually no style.

I had to go to a funeral on Monday for my Aunt Betty. This blog isn't about that, but it generated the idea for it.
Funerals, weddings, Bar Mitzvahs and company parties. Those are just about the only events where I will dress up and wear a suit. Because of that (and other reasons to come in this blog) I still have a very old suit. Although, the pants are new (ish) and the shirt is fairly new (ish). The tie is so old I remember it only for being part of the suit my grandmother insisted on buying me for my sisters wedding. That was in 1987. Betty was my grandmothers sister in law,  married to her brother Mel. 
The shoes are not new. I bought them on my wedding day (to replace my previous shoes which were bought before I had reached high school) and I have not worn them much at all. They still look new and they fit (sort of). 
Something that many don't know or realize is that when you gain enough weight your feet get a lot bigger and your shoes may not fit. I went through that for a long time. One of the first things I noticed when I started to lose weight was that my feet shrunk back to normal.There was a time when it was a pretty significant event and chore to get my feet into those shoes. There was even some pain involved and quite a bit of maneuvering to achieve the final outcome. These days, they go right on. I consider that progress.
The pants needing replacing, not because they were worn, but because I couldn't suck my gut in enough to squeeze them on skin tight anymore. I believe I broke the zipper and the button doing that. So, about 6 or 7 years ago I went shopping for a new pair. That new pair consisted of a size I never even dreamed I would wear, and for a while they were fairly loose. Not ever loose enough though that I needed a belt.
A year or two came and went, and by the time I needed them again they were tight. Not break the button off tight, but pretty snug tight. Since then, I periodically have needed to wear a suit, as I have buried two parents and attended an assortment of weddings,  bar mitzvahs and company parties. There have been times where I seemed to lose enough weight to make it somewhat comfortable to wear the pants and have the suit jacket feel roomy,  but for the most part it has been a struggle. 
At my cousins Bar Mitzvah in January, it was once again very tight. I could not wait to get home and get out of those pants. That was around the time I had decided I simply had to get the weight off. Which I proceeded to do, until I hurt my back somehow and basically could barely walk without very sharp pain for about two months. Still, I did start to make headway, and in the last two months have taken significant weight off. I am still well above where I was when I bought those "new" suit pants, but as I went to put them on Monday morning, for the first time in years, they went on fairly easy and felt okay as I moved in them all day. And I didn't look like some delusional 50 something guy with my gut hanging out over the pants, which I sort of did for a couple of years. (And no, I am not going to post the embarrassing picture I have that proves that.)
Now that I am starting to lose the weight and not gain it back on the weeks where I don't work hard enough to keep losing more, I have a closet full of clothes just waiting for me.
You see, I always said I would lose the weight-all of it- and I refused to throw out old shirts, pants, shorts and anything else that was still in good shape. I suppose it is a guy thing, but I just was not going to throw out good clothes that I knew one day I would fit into again. It doesn't matter that they are now horribly out of style. I could take a pic of my grey, acid wash jeans if you really want to be horrified. I have at least two pairs of those sitting deep in the closet. Will I wear them when they fit again? I don't know. Even I have limits. Only time will tell (They are circa 1986).
But when you are cheap and have virtually no sense of style or current trends, and you gain enough weight to buy the time needed so that these clothes can go out of style yet stay in good shape, you are ripe for this type of situation.
These are just the advantages (or disadvantages) of being cheap and having virtually no style. As I get closer and closer to being able to wear these clothes again comfortably it will be interesting to see if I actually do wear them. I like loose clothes and they will fit loosely, as they did back when I was significantly smaller than I am now.
But these days, I have others reminding me that Madonna isn't singing Like A Virgin anymore, the Montreal Expos are now extinct and we don't send mail with the post office as much as we used to.
The only thing that might be more motivating than my cheapness and lack of style could possibly be my desire to not hear the barbs that will come my way if I pull those acid wash jeans out.
But then again, I was brought up to never waste anything that still works. So, there you go. Stay tuned for the pics that I know will be taken to embarrass me if I decide to go the nostalgia route.

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