In shocking yet unsurprising news today, Mother Nature's spokesman, aka, God, has informed Monsanto that she will be initiating a lawsuit for patent infringement. Apparently, she claims that she invented that whole "seeds that grow things" thing and did not give permission for Monsanto to alter it. She will expect all profits derived from such behavior forwarded directly to her bank account (nature) and all seeds will be confiscated so as to put a halt to such abhorrent behavior.
Mother Nature, LLC has retained the law firm of THE PEOPLE, HUMANS AND GINSBERG (Ginsberg to make sure she wins) to handle her case.
When contacted for a response, an unnamed Monsanto spokesman, who didn't want to go on the record for fear or reprisal stated, "We may have to rethink this whole patent infringement thing."
Monsanto is likely to settle, as they don't want to deal with that Ginsberg guy.
Mother Nature noted that if Monsanto was going to be "difficult" about the whole thing, she would just do what she has always done. Create a plague and insects to ruin it and put them out of business, at which time she would just create more and new seeds, for which she will make sure to register the patent this time so there will be no confusion as to who owns the rights to the seeds.