We all need friends. For various reasons. Mostly though, they are someone you can count on when you need someone to count on. We would like to think that because we are that type of person (the type of friend who can be counted on when needed) that others would be too.
It is great to have friends. Someone you can rely on. Or so you would hope. In reality, like most things that aren't fantasy, it doesn't work that way.
What you learn in life, though, is that most people suck. They say they will do stuff, but then they just don't do it.
It isn't personal. That is just the way they are. The way people are. They will disappoint you. Not everybody. But most.
So, what to do about that?
For me, I accept that is the way it is and don't let it get to me. I try to please others and do what I say I will, when I can. But, I suck too. Sometimes. We are human. We are inherently flawed.
When I suck in this way, I try to learn from it and do better.
But in reality, I will suck again. And again. And again.
It isn't personal. If we could, I think we would all like to achieve everything we say we will. Do all the things we promise others that we will do. Do the right thing all the time. But we wont.
Nobody can. Or does.
Part of being a grownup, and being a good friend, is accepting that our friends will sometimes fail us. And that we can still be friends with them. And that we will fail them, and they will still be friends with us.
You just learn that there are some friends that you can be friends with, but can't rely on. Not when you know you will really need them. Then, there are those few that you can rely on. Both can be your friends. Both can't be relied on. Only one kind can be relied on.
If you start letting that get to you, then you have a hard time getting through the day.
We all have goals, wishes, dreams and desires.
I'd like to lose some weight. Been saying and trying to do that for a few years. Haven't really made a significant dent in that yet. But I will. In the meantime, I do the best I can.
Just as we can get used to disappointing ourselves, and live with it, we can get used to others disappointing us and being okay with it.
It is a reality of life. Family members will continually let you down. I know this from personal experience. When I was much younger, I did let this get to me. Until I realized that they were flawed, and learned to accept that. Mostly, I rely on myself, and when I need to rely on others, I know who I can rely on...and who I cannot.
It is not a matter of disappointment. It is a matter of realization. Once you begin to view it that way, then it really doesn't bother you. You accept it as the way it is.
People really suck. Deal with it.
Don't let it crush you or get you down.
I don't. Not anymore. It is part of the way that I suck less these days.