1. I hate to say I told you so. No I don't. Who is kidding who? I like to say that. And so do you.
2. What if Bob's Big Boy goes on a diet? Does he have to rename the stores?
3. I would be your best friend forever, but I don't plan to live that long. Sorry Charlie.
4. I don't like to sell. I am not that good at it. So I don't do it.
If you are not funny, don't try to be funny. It's okay. You don't have
to be. Be who you are, not who you wish you would be because others are
5. I'm not a joker. I just play one on Facebook.
6. You are somebody's reason to masturbate. You are also somebody's reason to commit hopefully justifiable homicide.
7. When I say I am going bra-less for the day it doesn't seem to carry the same weight as when a woman says it.
8. The other day, my friend said I was too negative and that the
glass is always half full. I took his glass, drank the fluid and said.
"I guess we don't have to argue about that anymore?"
9. Here is what I know for sure.
If you respond to stupid people then YOU are actually the stupid one. They are stupid and you are wasting YOUR time on them.
10. Note to some men:
not saying you have a bad body. I am not saying that there is anything
wrong with your body if you have a few pounds and a stomach. I am
Put your shirt back on and stop posting those pics on Facebook. You
aren't a guy from Magic Mike and you are grossing all of us out.