I'll have the number 2

Her: Hi, my name is Sharon. Can I take your order?

Me: I'll have the number 2 combo.

Her: Oh, a cleaning, scaling, some poking and prodding. A free toothbrush and floss. Would you like the cheery banter or the quiet brooding assistant with relationship issues?

Me: I think I will go with the cheery banter girl today.

Her: Excellent. The last customer chose the quiet brooding assistant. I don't think that menu item is very good today.

Me: I rarely choose it. I have it a lot at home. I like some variety. I only choose it after I have been to the bank and grocery store that day. Can't have too much phony cheery either.

Her:  Okay, perfect. Would you like a side of lecture as well?

Me: No, you can hold the lecture. I get enough of that at home as well. I already am aware that I eat too much candy and don't brush my teeth enough.

Her: For 10 dollars extra, I can also offer some irrelevant flirting that will lead nowhere.

Me: Umm..No thanks. I have Facebook.