The path of faith

 Finding a path. Finding a way. Having faith that you will and that it will come. When every day is tough, and every day it seems you are on that path, but you derail. That is the tough part. 

But the path will come. The way will appear. That is just how it is. Just how it goes. You just have to keep trying, keep aware, keep believing it will happen. It will work itself out. The path will appear, again, only this time its a clearer and better path. You derail because you are not supposed to stay on that path. It was the wrong path, even though it seemed to be the right path. I accept that now. You have to derail, as many times as it takes, until you get on the final, ultimate path to take you where you need to be. That is how I see it now.

There was a time when I didnt. I just believed it would never happen. That is a tough way to live, and you can be very anxious in your quietiest, darkest, most personal inner moments. It can eat you up. It does eat you up. Until you surrender to the reality that you just have to have faith and keep trying, and that it will happen. In that way, the anxiety is gone. The down times of failure and loss dont get you down anymore. You view it as part of the path to the success, to the knowledge, to the better times and to the end result or goal. 

Why write a blog like this, on a night like this when I had no intention to do so and have 4 or 5 other blogs I really want to write and also finish? I guess because it just came out of me.

Today was another tough day. So close. Seemingly so much on the right path, but then its clear you arent. Not yet anyway. But then, another road appears that you see will lead you back on the right path. That is how it goes and how it went for me today. 

Possibly because I stumbled onto an interview with Mickey Rourke, who hit about as far into rock bottom as you can go, and somehow, he survived and rose again. He says many times, you just keep working hard and do your thing, and it will find a way. When there looks like there is no way. 

He doesnt say it, but I do. Its about faith. In yourself. In others, in the cosmos. Whatever way you choose to describe it. You just have to believe in blind faith that it will work out for you, and for you and others if that is where you are at. I think that way these days, and there was a time when I didnt. This song always comes to mind when I do think that way.

Its been a long road, getting from there to here. Its been a long time, but my time is finally here.

As I continue to travel down that road, I can feel my time is finally here. There will be more derailments, more false paths, More detours onto other roads that lead back to the right path and I feel that the long road has grown shorter and have the faith to keep trying. But the anxiety is virtually gone, as I see it more clearly now. Trust the path. Have faith that it will lead you where you need to be. Eventually. 

That is the path of faith.